Dont leave me here
by uppertorso
Summary: I only hurt the ones I love'. A story centered fully on Marco & Lyserg as it follows them though the manga. Shounen ai at the moment, but will contain yaoi and violence. 2
1. Everytime that you need me

This couple doesn't get enough love. So yes, rated..lets say PG for shounen-ai. I'm not sure if this is a short one shot or the beginning of something bigger.

"Why do you continue to bother with that?"

Eyes left the page for a moment to glance out into the real world, to meet other iris as cold and clear as ice. "What do you mean?" He held the other's gaze before it fell and his own returned to the black words on a page. He could hear the soft, empty sound of Marco's head resting against the ship's steel wall.

"I've seen you read that book countless times, and it looks like you're only reading that certain section near the end of it again. Why?" A gloveless finger adjusted his glasses, his eyes closing as he took the rare moment of the day to actually clear his mind and relax.

Tearing his gaze from the pages once again, Lyserg gave a lazy shrug. "I don't know if I have a real reason for it." He smiled absently and turned the book for a moment to admire the cover and it's torn, dog-eared edges. The book was older than he was, and he had had it for as long as he could remember. It was like... "..comfort." The thought continued itself aloud.

The man looked over again, brushing flaxen hair from his face to get a clearer look at the boy. "What?"

"It's like comfort." Lyserg smiled again; his odd, sad little smile. He did that so often. "It reminds me of home… and my family." The words clearly upset him, but his smile remained just the same. "I know this book by heart, but I never get bored of reading it." He opened it again to a spot he could find without any marker. "My mother would read this paragraph to me before I'd go to bed almost every night. I my mind just began to make a connection with the words and sleep, to the point where even to this day, I have trouble staying awake. But it also reminds me of her." He looked up suddenly, almost afraid. "I can't forget. Without the memories of them... I'm empty." He eyes lowered again as he closed the book and ran his fingers over the spine. "I'm not complete."

Complete.

A word not unfamiliar to Marco, but a feeling that was foreign all the same. He had found plenty of what he searched for with the X-Laws...revenge...justice...purpose...but completion? No, he had yet to find that. He understood the emptiness Lyserg spoke of with stunning depth; so much is almost made something inside him ache. But no, not even pain. A dullness...a hollow, dull echo of pain he should have felt at the realization of his lack of fullness.

He fought for what he believed in, had felt plenty of sorrow, had sacrificed, won and lost. What was missing? It could have only been happiness, but he knew that his life and future would not be one of easy love or joy. And yet, Lyserg could still smile, even through his pain, for he had a memory of a time when he was, truly, happy. But the boy was also stronger than him, and could keep living, even with the constant reminder of his loss. Marco had shielded himself from his past, made himself look forward with bitter indifference. He was a follower and servant of Jeanne-sama now, and whoever he was before didn't matter and was officially dead.

Still, the empty feeling would not be shaken.

"How do you do it?" Lyserg whispered so quietly Marco barely heard him. He looked up, his eyes already wet even if his cheeks were not. "How do you forget the hurt?" Apparently they had been on the same wave length without knowing it.

"You don't." The Italian stood and joined the boy's side. It had been a long time since he felt it fitting to hold him, but he did not mind opening his arms to comfort his partner when he was frail like this. "It will never go away...one just learns to accept it until a stronger wall is built in front of it." It was a lie, for he had forgotten his pain. But it was useless to tell the other that, for he still had no idea how he had done it.

"I don't want to live Marco. So often I just want to end everything and give up." He broke down further, his voice choked. He feared being punished for giving into his feelings and weakness so easily, but it was such a dim thought at the moment that he didn't stop. He rested his head against Marco's chest, his fingers gripping the material of the other man's shirt.

"But you cannot Lyserg." Marco's voice softened unexpectedly, and he lifted his chin, meeting his eyes. "You have a purpose now, here with us. We need you." Flashes of Meene, Cebin and Venistar tore though his mind without notice. The memories burned like fire. "...Lord do we need you..." His own gaze wavered as he looked to the side, closing his eyes as he pushed down the pain of losing 3 of his teammates, his partners, his friends. He thought he had dealt with this already...he thought he had won over the agony.

"Marco-san...?"

The worried, broke tone brought him back to look at Lyserg again. He was still upset, but his eyes showed more concern then sadness for the moment. He managed to smile softly, wiping the boy's left cheek with his thumb. "Can you live for us?"

"I'm not strong." Was all he could manage as he looked down again. The words, although still filled with tears, were spat out with hatred and self-loathing. He looked up again when Marco's touch beckoned him to do so.

"Then let us be your strength." A simple phrase, spoke directly and without much emotion, but Lyserg could see the inner feelings behind it. Marco was offering himself as a stand, a support...something, anything, for Lyserg to lean on. "Could that help?" His green eyes widened slightly as he fought take in the new strength given as best he could. Marco was always so...strict and apparently heartless, and even that was a clear understatement. He hoped the man meant this.

As he nodded, Lyserg leaned in close again, closing his eyes. All his devotion to the X-laws could not have been constructed from respect and idolism alone. But with Marco...something else was there and it pulled at him hard now. The closeness and the security he was feeling pulsed within him to the rhythm of the other's heart. Within time, that heart would be destroyed and reconstructed...so it was fortunate Lyserg acted when he did.

It took no more than a second for him to jerk back when Lyserg's lips brushed his own. Marco's eyes widened slightly as his hands held the boy by his upper arms. He voice wasn't angry, but didn't take on a pleasant tone. "What are you doing?"

Clearly Lyserg hadn't caught the action in time, and had surprised himself as well. Then, his expression twisted to one of fear, no, complete and utter panic. What had he done? He eyes closed and he broke down again in record time. Frightened, rushed apologizes escaped his lips as he begged for forgiveness. But Marco knew that what he did had meaning and was not just a simple slip. And although surprised, Marco still was not angry. His grip eased and he covered the boy's lips with two fingers. Lyserg hiccupped as he opened his eyes and tried to slow his breathing.

"I don't want to be alone..." He whispered hoarsely, pressing to the other man's chest again when the loss of Marco's grip allowed him to. "I'm sorry...please just hold me again. We can pretend it didn't happen Marco-san." He almost cried again when he felt the man's arms curl around him, and tried to thank him... but the words caught in his throat.

As Marco closed his eyes and leaned back, he held Lyserg gently against him. He did as suggested, and pretended the prior had not happened, yet this thoughts swirled. And something else...a strange warmth. As the other started to calm, Marco realized his fears and pleas could, in someway, mimick his own. Perhaps the emptiness in him was in direct relation to his solitude. He was sure he had come to that conclusion before, but likely threw it away when he knew that solitude was the only option he had. Could Lyserg be what he needed to be complete..or would the closeness of the two even become a reality? This shield stood in the way again. He had considered the other X-laws friends, and the pain was already deep at losing them, no matter how well he hid it. If Lyserg did mean more to him than a partner, then how would he possibly handle losing him?

The answer was simple.

When Lyserg looked up again, Marco pulled him closer, returning the feather light kiss that had happened only minutes earlier. The surprise was short lived, and it was returned within seconds.

He would protect him.

snaps for Prisma, since there exists not enough MarcoLys ANYTHING. is so your seme bitch If inspiration comes to me, I will add Chapters to this.


	2. I feel so far away

So, this oneshot has, in my mind, turned into a huge project. It burns to escape. Warning, for this fanfic WILL contain massive X-Laws spoilers for the manga and some things which include the rest of the cast in later chapters. Shounen-ai for MarcoLyserg, but will be explicit yaoi eventually. Just a warning.

...>

Second battle of the day.

He stood there, watching. He was still, save the hair the wind dragged across his face. His eyes were cold, cut and hard; beautiful but harsh gems. Yet they were not on the battle area, where a minuscule battle was taking place. They were focused, unwavering, on the figure across the arena, seated in his own section. Long hair also caught in the wind when Hao looked up, meeting Lyserg's gaze.

He smiled.

Lyserg's teeth clenched noticeably. Although Marco hated the shaman with equal intensity, he was capable of ignoring him to a certain extent. When he glanced over, he noticed the boy's rigid posture, his dark eyes and his white knuckles. Setting a hand on his shoulder, Marco finally pulled him out of his trance. The eyes blinked and glanced over, before Lyserg coldly moved away from the touch. Casting one more hate-filled glance back in Hao's direction, he turned and moved away from the viewing edge.

"I hate him."

Marco's look and attention were brought back to him. The words were simple and short...yet he could understand the undying burn that lay under them. It almost pained him to know a child of Lyserg's age felt such hot, dark emotions of detest and rage. Often the words were used so lightly...to describe a situation or character of distaste...but he knew the boy meant every word with every part of him. Marco himself had moved past the hate and now only felt a duty. He would kill Hao for justice, and not for his own revenge. Lyserg would come to the same way all the others had. He would, soon, understand his higher calling with more clarity. The boy's blinding rage would light his way, and he would see clearly. His hate would eventually enlighten him.

Marco sat next to him when Lyserg finally took a seat himself. The boy clasped his hands, leaning over just enough so his hair hung around his face like a curtain. "We'll kill him right?" He asked, uncertainly cloaking his words like a heavy fog. A single eye peered up from between the wisps of green hair. He had been showing the worry since the battle X-III had fought with Hao. Spirit of Fire had torn all three down seemingly effortlessly. And the worries were not solely Lyserg's.

"Yes..." The man answered simply, casting a cold glance over the arena as well for good measure. He was worried, but he was also easily capable of shedding all doubt and placing his faith in Jeanne-sama. If anyone could defeat Hao, it would be her, and she needed and deserved their full support. His eyes were distant as he looked down at him. "You shouldn't doubt our power as much as you do."

Lyserg nodded but looked away. It wasn't so much doubting the X-Laws power as it was doubting his own...but saying that would gain him no support. Those two powers were no longer separate. X-Laws drew from him as he from them. With an uneasy glance to the side, Lyserg sighed very softly as to not catch the man's attention. He wasn't sure what he had expected from the future after the previous night. Although he had asked Marco to pretend the kiss had not happened, he assumed that request was ignored when the man kissed him back. Perhaps he had been wrong.

His fingers tightened around the opposite arm slightly when he thought of the prior evening. Marco had been so unbelievably kind, given his usual cold disposition. He had been particularly distant since the death of X-III, even if it was mostly unnoticeable. And then he had to do something as idiotic as kiss him...how could he done something so stupid to fuck it up? He was still amazed Marco hadn't struck him down then and there.

And then...the returned kiss...

The rest of the evening had been so warm. He wondered how the situation had not been awkward, for he never felt odd as he spent the majority of the night in Marco's arms. He must have fallen asleep on him, for he awoke the next morning in his bed. Ever since then, Marco was back to normal and acted as if the whole evening had not happened. Not the comfort nor the kiss...nothing. It was disheartening. Lyserg had felt such a strong affection for him last night that it even surprised him. He always knew he felt something for the man, whether innocent respect or something deeper, but it had truly come to the surface during the course of events.

Was this how his love was to be?

He looked up silently when the fight ended and stood. The rest of his team was leaving, so he followed, his eyes down. As he looked back over into the arena his shoulders fell just slightly. If they were going to defeat Hao, he needed to stop worrying that they could not and start planning how they could.

...>

"What?"

He cursed under his breath. He knew when Marco replied like that to someone at his door he was either busy or angry. Lyserg hoped for the prior. "May I speak with you Marco-san?"

A pause from behind the door and the clang of an empty clip hitting the ground. "If you'd like." Then three fast shots. The boy sighed with relief when he realized the older man was just training. He creaked open the heavy iron door, peering inside. Marco didn't turn at the sound, giving Lyserg a few silent moments to watch him shoot out the small round window. There was a distant ring of the bullets hitting something metal on the water. The man finally looked over his shoulder. "Yes?"

Looking down, Lyserg stepped inside and leaned against the door until it closed. "I'm sorry I'm interrupting you." He peered up slowly to judge Marco's reaction as he lowered the gun to his side and looked over his shoulder. "I just wanted to speak with you for a few minutes."

"Oh?"

It was harder to bring the words to the surface than he originally thought. He crossed his arms loosely over his stomach, looking at the ground. "Marco-san..." Well, he had the beginning of it out... "Why did you kiss me last night?" His voice, although wavering, finally came out strong enough that Marco turned fully.

The reply came so quick and steady that it caught him off-guard, although the words themselves to be logically expected. Still, Lyserg had not anticipated them. "Why did you kiss me first, Lyserg?"

He knew the answer, so that wasn't the issue. He kissed Marco because something in him cared enough for the older man to push the action forward. Therefore, it wasn't just a simple plutonic love. But the feeling itself was still fresh and hadn't flourished fully. He wanted to be sure before he confessed about something like love to his teammate and leader. Flustered and now slightly blushing, Lyserg sighed. "I don't know...I feel close to you, but it's impossible to explain right now. I can't put it to words, only that action."

Watching him, Marco inwardly knew what he felt. His feelings were similar if not copies of the boy's, only he had the additional looming sense of it being wrong due to the difference in the two's ages. But something like that would not be the deciding factor. Not in the slightest. The loud ring of his gun reloading bounced off the walls as he nodded before turning again. "I know what you mean. I'm uncertain of myself as well, so I'm not sure how long it will be until I can give you some real answers."

Suddenly, he felt like hell. Coming in and being so demanding when Marco was just as confused as he was. He tried to imagine how small and worthless he would have felt if the blonde had attacked him with a question like that last night. "I'm sorry..." He began again. "I just don't know what to think of all this. I've felt...at least part of what I feel now, for so long, a-and I would have acted on it earlier were I...not afriad of you knocking me out." His eyes were sincere and open without being filled with tears for one of the first times. "I'm sorry I was so demanding."

His gaze snapped back up when he heard Marco chuckle. He wanted to narrow his eyes and ask what was so funny, but knew the response was not one to be angry at. "That was hardly demanding. I suspected you would be uncertain as to what all this meant, and knew you would approach me. Had I an answer for you now, I would give it, but I don't. You have nothing to be sorry about." He looked over his shoulder again, smiling slightly. "Let this become what it will, and we'll take it one day at a time."

Taken back by the softness in Marco's voice now twice in that past days, Lyserg nodded, becoming quiet again when the other turned to continue his marksmanship out the small window. The buoy he was hitting was quite a distance away, and the man was hitting it every time. "Ah...Marco-san?" He asked again when the second clip was dropped to the floor. "Is there any word on when my angel will come?" He had asked this already before, but he assumed the time that had passed was enough.

"Nothing yet, at least nothing that I have heard. There are still things in which you need to do, things you must understand before Jeanne-sama will grant yours." Another surprising smile. "You're on the right trail, so it will happen eventually if you continue this way. Jeanne-sama has quite a bit of faith in you." He turned back and lifted SWORD 001, his hands unbelievably steady.

"I've never fired a gun before..." He whispered so not to distract him as he watched. From his angle, he could see the cyan of Marco's eye pierce the darkness as he looked ahead with a pinpointed gaze.

"You will learn fast when you hold one in your hands."

"Will you teach me?"

The sharp blue eye blinked and met him. Then they both closed as Marco nodded, his arm falling to his side. "Alright. Come here." He turned back towards the window as Lyserg moved in front of him, looking out to what he saw. That target was quite a bit farther than he thought; just a light grey blotch on the water. Marco had to lean down a little to rest his mouth by the boy's ear, as his hands pressed the large pistol into his hands. It was heavier than Lyserg had expected, and his hand dropped before it accepted the weight. He felt a shiver run across him when he heard the softness of Marco's voice and felt the warmth of his hand over his own. "Hold it like this...and your finger here..." He felt the spring of the trigger under his finger give a little. His left was placed it against the bottom of the handle. "I can hold it with one hand, but you should use two to help steady it." Although Lyserg's eyes were focused on his target, warmth raced through his body as he was sheltered by the man's arms and voice.

"Focus on your target, try to bring it to you..." He wasn't watching him, but Lyserg felt those eyes trained on the target with him. It, somehow, seemed to help. "When you fire, squeeze, don't pull...if you pull you'll unset the aim and hit to high, or to the side." He felt the warmth leave him a little. "When you're ready." Lyserg nodded, his eyes unwavering on the dot of grey on the black horizon. Without any additional movement, he squeezed his finger towards his palm, the sharp crackle painful to his ears.

Silence.

"Here..." Marco's presence and warmth was close again as the man's hands closed over his. Although he continued to hold the gun, the blonde now had control of it. He felt his finger pressed firmer, more experienced, against the trigger. "Aim..." He gun's barrel tilted a fraction up. "And squeeze." He felt him exhale. A slight pause and the snap of thunder. The distance ring of metal was carried off in the wind.

Lyserg felt the heat rising when Marco didn't pull away. His breath was audible and he could feel the warmth against the skin below his ear. "M-Marco-san?" He couldn't keep the tremble from his voice. Something fresh and reminiscent seemed to stir in him at the same time whenever the man was close to him like this. An old sense of security and warmth...he hadn't felt that in years. But the deep, hot pulse that ran through his body was entirely new...and not in the least unpleasant.

"What is this strange power you hold over me Lyserg?" Although Marco's lips were not right against his ear anymore, the voice sounded so close. It was soft and it made him take in a shallow breath. He had to exert effort to hold back his whimper when the man pulled away from him, carefully un-entwining their hands to take his gun and re-holster it. He was silent again as he closed the top two buttons of his shirt, his hair shielding his eyes and face from the boy.

Forcing himself to stay quiet for a moment to be sure his voice was steady, Lyserg turned to face him again. "Why do you act so cold around me? Even after a night like now...or last night...when the morning comes it's as if none of it happened." His voice betrayed him despite his preparation, and trembled towards the end. The room suddenly felt cold and Lyserg shivered as frost ran up his back.

"What do you expect of this...if this is to become anything at all?" One ice eye was watching him, the other shielded by both his hair and a frame of his glasses. "Are you preparing yourself for some fairytale ending, a happily ever after?" His voice, while not threatening or angry, became so cold the room's temperature seemed to drop again. "I am the leader of a very small but powerful army, and when surrounded by my team, I am their captain. I cannot afford to let my mind wander on things which are not of the utmost important. We are here and we are X-Laws to kill Hao." The glasses were pushed up his nose when they fell. "While I do care for you, the only real way I can keep you safe is by not forgetting my purpose. Maybe you should rethink your current emotions if you are unable to handle my attitude." He headed for the door, his fingers casually resting on the handle as he watched him again.

Lyserg couldn't help but feel regret and hopefulness at his words. Marco had admitted he cared, but at the same, cut at many of the emotions and wishes the boy himself held. All he could do was shakily sigh and nod, a dim hope and thought rising from that back of his mind. "We're alone now Marco-san...?" His eyes were hopeful as he wished their current solitude would be enough to again pull the man out of his shell. If he was going to be a leader around his team, Lyserg would ask of what he wished for when they were alone.

Sensing his thoughts, Marco paused again, his loose grip on the door's handle falling as Lyserg approached him. His eyes softened again when the boy leaned against him. Without pause, an arm curled around his shoulders as his own body leaned against the steel behind him. When those green eyes finally looked up, Marco's lips pressed against the boy's softly but with a low, faint rumble of deep passion. Lyserg's eyes closed again, his long, dark lashes spreading like fans over his cheeks. Neither had any idea how long they remained locked in each other's arms, the kiss drawing the needed feelings from one to the other.

When the man finally pulled away, Lyserg's was softly panting, his now swollen lips slightly parted. He opened his eyes just barely and glanced up, noting Marco hadn't opened his. With those glaring blue eyes hidden, the blonde lost a good deal of his intimidation. He actually looked peaceful at the moment. But, as if sensing Lyserg watching him, the vibrant cyan appeared behind his glasses as he looked down. A gentle hand lifted as he stroked his thumb absently over the boy's still moist bottom lip. Tilting his head into the touch, Lyserg watched him again with an almost lazily idle gaze. Marco expression was hard to read, but when he gave a small smile, it was sad in a way.

"Goodnight Lyserg."

The boy blinked as the door was opened for him again, and looked up with a slightly hurt expression. Something within him screamed at his voice to ask to stay, but, despite how loud the inner pleas were, he could not find his words. He merely nodded as he stepped out into the cold, steel-grey corridor, watching from over his shoulder as the large door was shut behind him with a dull, hollow clang.

...>

Will update next chapter when I can get it out This one took a week to write and days to finalize.


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